The propeller killer from the Elbe
Realisation: Propellers do not tolerate deflection
Gold medals are usually awarded to winners. And who is honoured with a golden propeller? My boat and motor whisperer Manfred presented me with one - that of my Rio 580 Cabin "Rubinette". Or rather this one,what was left of him after my propeller accident at Krümmel on 17 May 2011.
The almost wingless remnant - gilded in hours of painstaking work - has since adorned the wall of my editorial office as a memorial. The nuclear power plant upstream on the Elbe behind Geesthacht had "irradiated" me to such an extent that I completely forgot about the groynes that soon followed.
Manfred had warned me the night before. - This won't happen to me again. Think again! A silver prop has recently been hanging next to the golden one, only not quite as badly mutilated. On 17 August 2016, I crashed over a groyne again near Hoopte when, after changing drivers, I made myself comfortable on the sun lounger with my sweetheart instead of keeping an eye on the map and course.
When will there be bronze? No thanks! I don't need another shot across the bow. -Gernot Apfelstedt
Almost like in a horror film...
Realisation: Stickers can save lives
Summer 2006, family tour with the 6-metre boat from Hamburg to Lake Schwerin. Everything on board? Almost - the bathing ladder is missing! After some toing and froing, it ends up between the folded-back convertible top and the outboard motor hull. Rain threatens in Hitzacker, the top is frantically folded up - the ladder disappears into the murky harbour basin.
Anyway, we'll just buy a new one ... Three days later we reach our destination, the family needs to go ashore first. Peace and quiet at last! The opportunity for a little solo jaunt to a beautifully secluded anchorage and bathing spot. Whilst jumping off the foredeck, I remember:Where was the bathing ladder again?
Too late ... Full of hope, I first go for a spin around the boat, but have to realise that the sharp-edged rudder safe on the anti-cavitation plate makes the outboard motor useless as a boarding aid. Over the side of the boat it is!
It's amazing how high it appears when your own nose is barely 10 cm above the surface of the water. Memories of the recent film "Open Water" flood my brain. Only after several attempts and with the courage of impending despair do I manage to climb into the cockpit.
Note in the logbook: "Stick the 'swim ladder' sticker in the cockpit." -Torsten Moench
The mysterious petrol guzzler
Realisation:Trust is good, control is always better
The unusual, freshly overhauled boat promised to be a special journey. Having learnt from experience, I asked the routine question: "Are the tanks both full?" - "Yes of course, enough for a fortnight." - "But the fuel gauges show empty." -"They don't work." I see!
Off we go on a week-long journey. On the second evening, we notice that the boat is leaning. Call to the charter company: "Your boat is 5 cm lower on the port side." - "That's normal tolerance." Really?
The following day, in the middle of a large inland waterway, there is a shake and the first diesel stops. Less than five minutes later, the second one has also stopped. Drifting at the edge of the fairway in five metres of water, we drop anchor. Call the charter company:"Both diesels have failed." Answer: "Sh..."
After a short period of guesswork, the filters are suspected. A good three hours later, our partner arrives with his work boat. But the filter change reveals clean components. So it wasn't that. Careful knocking on the starboard tank: "It's empty." - "Yes, it is!" - "Oh no - with so few operating hours? Impossible!"
So we quickly take a photo of the three petrol taps on our mobile phone and send it to an expert. While we're still being towed to the next harbour with a petrol station, we get the answer. One of the taps was wrong - so only the starboard tank was being used! The port tank was full, hence the inclined position. Nevertheless:How were we able to empty the starboard tank in such a short time?
It later transpired that the charter company had previously commissioned someone to test drive the boat. He had probably had a lot of fun and had blown almost the entire tank. There was no refuelling, as claimed... -Dieter Wanke
You can read about the rest of the failures, misfortunes and mishaps in the Anniversary issue of BOOTE. Available from 19 July 2017 (earlier for subscribers, of course).
