Church, art and commerce. In concrete terms, the trinity of the Cologne way of life means the cathedral, a dozen Romanesque churches, two dozen top museums, more than 60 galleries, 4,000 pubs and, of course, the most spectacular carnival in the entire universe (in the city's own opinion). The originators of this egocentric self-image are the Romans. In faithful fulfilment of their duty to the all-god Jupiter and Emperor Claudius, they built a kind of Lilliputian version of the Tiber metropolis on the impassable banks of the Germanic Lower Rhine. And gave it all the rights of celebration and entertainment that Rome had. With this dowry, Cologne rose to become an economic prodigy in a class of its own. Taxes, stacking rights and the sale of (supposed!) relic bones filled private coffers and city coffers. This went well until Christopher Columbus "discovered" America. With the new overseas markets, rich river towns like "hillije Kölle" (holy Cologne) slipped into the district league. It took 400 years for industrialisation to feed the bell jar in Cologne Cathedral again.
Location, location, location ... this basic postulate of the property industry also applies to marinas. The more central and quieter they are, the more attractive - and expensive - they are. A prime example is the Rheinau marina in Cologne. "I have the most beautiful workplace in the world," smiles Karl-Heinz Zündorf. By this, the master of the 150 most ingenious berths between Cologne and Koblenz means not only the magnificent "Aussich op d'r Dom" (view of the cathedral), but also the chocolate museum close to the shells, the historic port office with its customs and warehouses and, of course, the 60 metre high, hyper-stylish crane houses reminiscent of an inverted "L". "These are beacons of architecture," says the 67-year-old enthusiastically, taking aim - consciously or not - at the lopsided ensemble of buildings in the media harbour of a "no-name city" around 60 kilometres downstream. Without going any further into the oh-so-cultivated rivalry between Cologne and Düsseldorf (the "unpronounceable" and therefore non-existent NRW state capital from a Cologne perspective), he asks if we still need to refuel. I nod, head for the petrol pump next to the harbour office and fill the tank of our Bayliner 195 BR.
Passing the Chocolate Museum in Cologne on a day cruiser
Saturday, 9 o'clock. We leave the historic swing bridge at the exit of the marina in the stern water. To starboard, the futuristically designed chocolate museum with the world's largest exhibition on the history and present of cocoa does the honours. This - if you like - cultural asset of the Mayan gods is followed by St Nicholas as a representative of the Christian faith. In his function as patron saint of sailors, he watches over shipping on the Rhine as a large sandstone figure. With a friendly greeting to the supernatural sea rescuer, we set the bow of our day cruiser towards Bonn. While the queue of people at the Ferris wheel in front of the Chocolate Museum gets longer and longer, we stroll along a 1.5 kilometre-long ensemble of open-air bistros, bars, hip office buildings and luxury granaries. The crowning glory of this working, living and entertainment area is the "Old Hercules". With a lifting capacity of 30 tonnes, the harbour crane, which went into operation in 1898, was the shooting star among the 35 loading lifts at the time.
The "Rheinstation" is anchored a couple of beats behind the crane. True to the motto "two become one", the 60 metre long ship consists of the bow of the "Baden 24", which was launched in 1885, and the stern of the "Desdemona", which is 27 years younger. For around 50 years, the structure served as a boathouse for the University of Cologne's rowing department. In 2002, science moved in as a subtenant and has been monitoring the quality of the Rhine water ever since. "Expressed in school grades," explains Head of Research Frank Nitsche, "the water quality at our measuring station is 2+".
The "Rodenkirchen boathouse"
The boathouses further up the mountain are less a place of scientific discovery and more a cult location for club, chill-out and beer garden fans. They also have their own history. The "Alte Liebe", for example, was launched in 1911 as a kind of floating corner shop that supplied Rhine boatmen with food and drink. The "Rodenkirchener Bootshaus", on the other hand, was a lignite freighter. Today, the beautifully restored gem is moored 50 metres from the shore in the shallows of the Rhine. Its large open-air terrace offers home-style cooking and delicious Kölsch beer (which a Düsseldorfer would never touch, let alone drink ...). Speaking of Rodenkirchen: The "Veedel" (neighbourhood) could be something like the tectonic shift of the Sylt plate to the Lower Rhine basin - which is, of course, completely out of the air. But firstly, the density of stately villas is hardly less than in Westerland and secondly, the bathing bays here are strung together like pearls. Nowhere else can you bury your toes in the sand and unpack your picnic basket with the obligatory Pittermännchen (10-litre wooden cask). It's not for nothing that this God-blessed patch of shoreline earth is nicknamed the "Rodenkirchen Riviera".
Rodenkirchen is (or rather was until its incorporation into the city of Cologne in 1975) a village. The same applies to the more southerly "Veedel" neighbourhoods of Weiß and Sürth. We step on the gas, the Bayliner lifts itself out of the water, glides along a handful of kilometres of river past green meadows and puzzlingly beautiful residential buildings, passes Porz on the right bank of the Rhine with its picturesque marina and reaches the Zündorf-Weiß passenger ferry. Heiko Dietrich is the operator of this fluvial bridge-building company. "Everything was built by ourselves and officially approved by the ship inspection commission," explains the 79-year-old. Achim Pesch is from a completely different mould, but no less interested in water (sports). The business administration graduate acquired the 60-year-old "Sürther Bootshaus", located around two kilometres south of the river, in 2018 and renovated the dilapidated demolition candidate into a "delicious food location" with cross(cologne)-cultural cuisine.
Weiss, Sürth and now Wesseling. Located 15 kilometres upstream from Cologne Cathedral, this small town of 35,000 inhabitants is home to one of the largest petrochemical plants in Germany. We stop, allow an oncoming tanker, estimated to be 120 metres long, to enter the former Wesseling port, now Godorf, and accelerate again. Both sides of the harbour are green. Beech trees, oaks and poplars celebrate an opaque brotherhood. With the spaghetti-narrow, 1.6-kilometre-long river island of Herseler Werth on the starboard side and the small Lux shipyard on the port side, Mondorf comes into view. In front of us on the horizon, the Siebengebirge mountain range stretches into the sky, two kilometres behind the former basket weaving and fishing village, the Friedrich Ebert Bridge connects Beuel on the right bank of the Rhine with the centre of Bonn, a city of 320,000 inhabitants.
Course for the Mondorf marina
Unfortunately, the former German capital doesn't have a marina. As we want to take a quick look at the city, we head for the Mondorf marina. The boat park is a shell's throw from where the Sieg flows into the Rhine, practically in the middle of the forest. It is, if you look at it humorously, also an example of Rhineland business acumen. Until the 1970s, the people of Mondorf lived in the middle of nowhere without any direct transport links to Bonn, as some people claimed. This was supposed to change with the construction of the L 269 motorway. The "connection to civilisation" had to be flood-proof. Therefore, embankments were built, which in turn were nothing other than - three guesses - the excavation of today's marina ...
If you believe the relevant bike magazines, cycling is healthier than any medicine. So we hire a couple of bikes at the Mondorf Rhine ferry landing stage. After a quick coffee on the terrace of the "Fährpavillon Graurheindorf", we set off along the riverbank towards Bonn city centre. After six kilometres, we reach Münsterplatz and the historic rococo post office with its monument to the city's most famous son, Ludwig van Beethoven. In a long coat with flowing hair and a grim look, the composer genius gazes into the distance. Is he annoyed? Because Alexander von Humboldt is said to have called him a "rude fellow" at the inauguration of the monument? Or that his world-famous piano piece "Für Elise" in a James Bond film musically accompanies the usual hormonal scenario of the secret agent? Be that as it may, we take a look at the old town with its large market square and the magnificent rococo town hall, take a look at Beethoven's birthplace and then cycle on to the federal district, i.e. the former West German centre of political power. A quick tour takes in the Bundeskunsthalle, we say hello to the poisonous green Trabi in the Haus der Geschichte and take a look at Konrad Adenauer's bust in front of the former Federal Chancellery. Before heading back to the boat, we treat ourselves to a Crémant on the roof terrace of Konradʼs Sky Bar. While the noble drink from the slopes of the Loire sparkles in our glasses, 17 storeys below, the freighters make their way along the Rhine.
Discover fairy tales and legends by boat
The Siebengebirge is a collection of fairy tales and legends. One of them tells the story of its origins. In ancient times, a lake is said to have burst its banks here and devastated entire villages. In their distress, the people asked the giants for help. Seven of them shouldered their shovels, came and dug a drainage channel. When the work was done, they knocked the clods of earth off their shovels. In the process, the aforementioned mountain range (which, according to Wikipedia, does not consist of seven but around 50 mountains) piled up. Probably the most famous is the Drachenfels. At the beginning of the 19th century, chance brought the British poet Lord Byron to the region. Overwhelmed by the landscape, he took up his pen and elevated the hitherto touristy Cinderella to the throne of favourite destinations. In doing so, he unleashed a wave of travellers that brings thousands of visitors to Drachenfels alone every day. But the wine from its sun-drenched slopes also has its fans. Whether it is, to quote Konrad Adenauer, an effective means of revitalising the mind, remains to be seen. As far as quality is concerned, the former Lord Mayor of Cologne and later first Chancellor of the Bonn Republic was more than convinced. The testers of the specialist wine magazine "Falstaff" agreed and awarded the Steingasse Riesling vintage 2022 from the Pieper winery 94 (!) points.
Sunday, 9 a.m.: Our Bayliner is moored at the WSV jetty in Bad Honnef an der Leine, we have spent the night five minutes' walk from Adenauer's house in the small but fine Hotel zum Wein and are now travelling up the Drachenfels on Germany's oldest cogwheel railway. Although the 321 metre high "mountain" is no Mount Everest, the view from the "summit" down into the Rhine Valley would have thrilled even Caspar David Friedrich. The most famous German Romantic painter would probably have shaken his head at Drachenburg Castle, 100 metres below. In a record time of two years - it took 632 (!) years to complete Cologne Cathedral - a stock market speculator who had come into money built a kind of Rhenish Neuschwanstein here in 1882. Its Venus terrace (!) is guarded by two golden stags ...
There are officially five marinas between Cologne and Linz. But you can only refuel in Cologne. Although our Bayliner is no slouch, 200 hp is 200 hp and a 130-litre tank is not the father of all ranges. So what to do? Empty the boat to the last drop? Better not! So we move from the water to the railway and board the regional express in Königswinter after our Drachenfels excursion. After a few minutes of travelling past "pretty little houses", the famous World War II bridge at Remagen - or rather its bridge towers, which have remained intact - comes into view. Shortly afterwards we reach Linz. In the Middle Ages, this small town of 6000 inhabitants was something like the southernmost outpost of the Lords of Cologne. Today, the half-timbered Lilliputian town centre is a tourist magnet. In the former pharmacy right next to the historic town hall, incidentally the oldest in Rhineland-Palatinate, Beethoven's brother Nikolaus earned his first spurs as a later successful pharmacist. Ludwig himself is said to have enjoyed playing cards here as well as music.
The end of the cruise
The rest of the story is quickly told: At 4.25 pm, we take the liner back to Bonn, disembark at Grafenwerth Island, take the bridge over the oxbow of the Rhine to our day cruiser's berth and wake the MerCruiser's paddock to life. With a view of the 16 metre long Aalschokker "Aranka", which was launched in 1917, we set off at a brisk pace, no, no, not directly to the Rheinau sports harbour, but for a meal on the terrace of the "Sürther Bootshaus".
We order tuna on ratatouille vegetables. "To drink?" asks the waitress. "Rosé," we reply, "if possible from the Pieper winery." "Sorry," shrugs the lady, "we don't have any Drachenfels wines on the menu. Our rosé comes from the Palatinate." Okay ... firstly, Article 1 of the Cologne Basic Law applies in such and similar cases, i.e.: Et es, wie et es es (it is what it is), and secondly, the Palatinate - thank Bacchus - is at least not in Düsseldorf ... In short: we order a bottle with four glasses.
Charter
Berth: Rheinau sports harbour (rheinau-sporthafen.de). Charter prices: Sundowner (2 hours) 195 euros, half-day (4 hours) 285 euros, full-day (8 hours) 399 euros, weekend: 899 euros (all prices plus fuel). Deposit: 300 euros. Prerequisite: Sport boat licence inland. Internet: sailcademy.com
Our boat
Bayliner 195 BR, length: 5.79 m, width: 2.41 m, draught: 0.99 cm, year of construction 2008, engine: 200 hp (4.3 L MerCruiser petrol inboard), top speed: 70 km/h, approved for 6 persons.
